


Blot

by djinnj



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), cw: animal death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 07:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14563593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djinnj/pseuds/djinnj
Summary: Thanos, After.  (Spoilers, of course.)Not even remotely a fix-it.CW: there's the hunting death of an animal in here. It's not super graphic, but I thought about it and gave the fic the teen rating for the way I wrote it.





	Blot

The sunset was remote and serene, an untouched beauty. He laid down his head for his long-awaited rest and knew peace.

***

The conservatory was vaulted with crystalline windows through which the light of the binary sunset shattered into rainbow droplets. The air was dense with moisture and the scent of fruits and flowers. A breeze from somewhere moved through the leaves, creating in its wake an undifferentiated susurration of life.

He watched the cool blue moonrise he had seen only once long ago with the deep wonder of a child.

“It’s beautiful,” she said, but when he turned there was no-one.

***

He shifted and heard the strained creak of leather against his armor as he reclined. It was not his chair but the overstuffed chaise was comfortable enough after a lifetime of discomfort at the service of his calling. She waited, seated at her ease with her hair done up in a twist and a writing utensil tapping lightly against her palm instead of a knife. 

“This is not my dream.”

“It can’t be mine,” she said pleasantly and sipped from a ceramic drinking vessel with a rainbow-tailed comet glazed on its side. He was slightly irritated to realize that was all she was going to say.

“What does this serve?” 

“You achieved the apotheosis of all your dearest hopes and dreams. You are the holder of untold power and knowledge, and in your sleep you see yourself in a place you have never been, in a relationship with me that you have never sought nor wanted. You tell me.” She set the mug down and lifted a primitive writing surface, making a small note out of his eyeline.

***

The eggs of the large river reptiles frothed admirably when beaten. They went well with the herbs growing plentifully in the shallow green waters. 

***

The soft leather, so different from his armor, squeaked in protest as he leaned to one side. She was wearing an unfamiliar combination of crisp lines in soft fabric, completely impractical for a fight or even infiltration. She sat relaxed, not quite facing him, and with her hand flat on her notepad. That irritated him like a bit of grit in one’s food. This was a construct of his own; what need was there for her to conceal anything?

As in life, she was always defying him in ways that were ultimately without impact. He had had no time for petulance in the Before, neither hers nor his own. In the Now it was a mildly engaging exercise to remain silent for their time together. It lacked satisfaction when he realized she was paying him no mind at all, all her attention on the communication device in her other hand. Who was there to communicate with other than him?

He chose not to reflect on enacting petulance against a figment. 

***

He skimmed over a seemingly endless ocean reflecting violet and blue and wine red from the sinking sun. Birds kept pace around him, green and black with bright yellow eyes. For all his speed, the wind was gentle against his skin. He let his laughter skirl out into the wind, transient and boundless.

***

“What am I to do here, in this absurd place? Am I to feel regret for killing you? You know I do.” The direct approach had, after all, served him admirably all these years. She sent her latest text before looking up, her eyebrow quirked and a wry bend to her lips.

“And how does that make you feel?”

“Is that what this is, then? The expiation of my guilt through seeing you in my dreams? Am I to burn out my loss through aggravation?” Her bland smile was a thing of plastic beauty, utterly flawless and utterly insincere.

***

The large river reptiles were as good as the eggs when the juveniles were roasted whole and smothered in herbs.

***

“You know as I do that your death was necessary. A sacrifice for the greater good.” His armour sank heavily into the couch cushions as usual, causing him to lean awkwardly to avoid rolling into an even less comfortable position.

“I know you believe that.” She sounded bored and her infrequent note taking was suspiciously similar in action to composing a supply list. “You feel no guilt for killing me. You’re sad that I’m dead, but not that you did it or any other of the number of truly terrible things you did to me. Boo hoo.”

“You withhold your forgiveness, then?” He found this unexpectedly disappointing, akin to having run out of sweetener for his morning cup. Not that that was a thing that was possible any longer.

“It’s not like you need it,” she remarked absently and added another item to her list.

***

It was effortless as blinking to call into being a cup of wine. The first in many years, he once again tasted the venous red vintage lost since he had torched the last trees that bore the fruit that made this particular wine. It was satisfying, delicious, exactly as he remembered it. However improbable it was that it would be _exactly_ as he remembered… but then, of course it was. 

***

She kept tapping at her cell phone screen with her thumb, in some irregular pattern that did not suggest texting.

“They had to die. It was the only way to save everyone.The universe cannot support unchecked population growth.” Surely that was it; that was certainly what everyone always chose to whine about. Perhaps he had been stupid enough to internalize some of it. The correct sop thrown to his subconscious and his dreams could return to something more abstract and less irritating.

“Hm.” She did not sound particularly convinced, but he was not sure she was listening.

***

Calling music was as simple as calling wine and pure notes drifted through the air like sunbeams. He knew without needing to question it that it had been written in a passionate fit of glorious inspiration over the course of six days and it had led to the veneration of the composer for the rest of their long life and many centuries after. A piece composed in a golden city gone to dust long before his birth, it had been forgotten by all for much longer than it had been remembered, until the exact moment he called it from the air. 

***

He caught her attention this time.

“Perhaps I could have chosen a different path, but I could not wait. The pain of so many worlds crying out for balance, for a firm hand to show the heedless multitudes the errors of their ways; it would not let me rest. I needed to do it myself to be sure it was done; I was selfish.”

“That’s an interesting choice of words.” She actually put down her cell phone, leaning back to give him her attention. He pursued that line, certain he had found the weakness within himself.

“That is my failing; I was precipitous. I chose the most expeditious path to the necessary outcome. If I had been more careful, explained myself more clearly, much of the suffering need not have happened.”

“You loved not wisely but too well, is that it?” She was writing on her pad again, and he felt suffused with satisfaction, sure that he had chosen the correct angle.

“That is why we are here, isn’t it? To expiate my subconscious guilt for having caused so much pain?” 

“That would be more compelling if you believed you were wrong.” 

***

The ancient oldest river reptile had been admirably canny and evaded his choice of spear for many days. Eventually caught out, its thick green hide had turned the point until he trapped it at just the right angle and sunk the blade deep. He held, feeling the tremors in the spear slowly come to an end, until he was certain it was dead. And then he held a little longer. 

***

He paced impatiently, kicking the couch out of his path. She shifted in her chair to keep him in view, otherwise impassive.

“This is ridiculous. I found the problem and I have acknowledged it. This should be done.” He dragged the couch back over with the toe of one boot and sank down on the overstuffed cushions. Her wry look of vaguely disappointed superiority had become familiar after so many dream visits, but was no less irritating.

“You’re talking about last time? Sorry, no. You are not yearning for redemption. You have no guilt, no remorse, and remain convinced that everything you have done is absolutely right because you chose to do it. You are occasionally a little sad, but everything and anything you could want is literally within your grasp, except me, and, well….” She laughed a little sarcastically as she gestured to herself. 

“What, are these dreams because I miss you?” She rolled her eyes at his incredulity.

“For an all-powerful supposedly all-knowing being, you really are stupid.” Breaking precedent, she stood and briefly looked out the window he had no memory of existing prior to this moment. She turned to him, sharply back-lit in the warm orange glow that gleamed in the highlights in her hair. “Why do you think these are _your_ dreams?”

***

He woke with a snort and rolled onto his back. The room was the perfect temperature and the cool grey light of dawn had already filled it like clear water. The tendrils of the dream dissipated from his memory like wisps of fog. It was good to be alive.

**Author's Note:**

> It's all about the endgame....


End file.
